By Mei Yee
I wanted to make this post in hopes that maybe it will help someone in some way.
The life of a single parent…
I know from some of my other posts people have thought that I have my life together. I don’t, but I am trying my best.
I’ve posted about us doing experiments and posts about family activities for different seasons or weather. Has it always been like this for us? No. These have been things we have started doing within the past two years.
However, we don’t always do those things. I struggle very much being a single parent. I am not perfect, and I often forget things. Like forms the school needed or the days of book fairs. I have even missed parent-teacher conferences because I forgot.
I often feel as a parent that I am falling short. That I should be doing more, but it is just me to raise the girls, and as one person, I can only do so much.
There are people who say it was my choice to be a single parent. While it hurts to hear that, they aren’t entirely wrong. However, they also don’t know the whole story as it was something that I was not ready to share before.
My kids' dad was very abusive and abused drugs and alcohol. He was barely around as getting high with his friends was more important than being around for the girls. When he was home, he was either sleeping or drunk. I was scared to leave and honestly thought them having a dad who was there even a little bit was better than nothing.
I soon snapped out of that as one of his friends threatened me AND the girls. He took his friend's side, stating that as long as I don’t open the door for this friend, I don’t have to worry about getting shot. I kicked him out, which led to something more extreme from him. (That is a story for another day.) But legally, he isn’t allowed to be anywhere near us or have any contact with us or our family.
I still suffer from everything I went through, which makes me feel worse as a parent. There are days where I am depressed and just want to curl up on the couch and not do anything. But, my girls are the reason I keep going. So, I am trying my best for them.
The experiments and activities we do, are just as much for me as they are for them. It makes me feel like less of a failure if we do things together. Things can still be very overwhelming, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t have breakdowns and cry when I am overwhelmed.
They drive me nuts sometimes, but at least I can say I love them with all my heart and would do anything for them.